Archive for the ‘E J Sparrow’ Category

Ezra Jane Sparrow

June 12th, 2014 Comments off

Well hi everybody,  my but it has been a while.  I’ve been busy, busy, busy, and don’t have a thing to show for it.  Know what I mean?  Time just gets away with me and all I know is I’m just enjoying every day as much as I can.

Actually, I do have something to show for it – just look at the pictures! A couple of us girls, well the Carter twins and me, went to Las Vegas.  Can you believe it?  Sin city!

We promised Pastor Rick before we went that we wouldn’t go crazy while there.  He was cute, reminding us that what we did in Vegas just might get back to our town before we did!  Well, we didn’t do anything to be ashamed of, except ate too much and stayed up way past our bedtime.

Being Southern girls we had to pay homage to dear ole Elvis and so we went to ELVIS Cirque de Soleil.  My goodness, I kept wondering what his Momma, Gladys Marie,  would have thought of it.  It was spectacular!  Those folks sure  know how to put on a good show!  I bet Elvis would have loved it, I know I did.

As much as I loved seeing the tribute to Elvis, I have to tell you friends that the one that really took the cake was The Lion King.  The Carter twins wanted to see it and I just kinda went along not knowing what to expect, and frankly didn’t expect much from what I thought was a story for kids.  Was I ever wrong.  It was wonderful!  The costumes were fantastic and the music was great, oh my but I just loved every minute of it.   Talk about being pleasantly surprised!  I was.

Guess I’d better not spend any more time talking about ‘sin city’ except to say that I had a good time and didn’t sin any more than I would have in my little home town.  Now, that does’t mean that I sin there, oh you know what I mean. LOL!

Love y’all, Ezra Jane Sparrow

Ezra Jane Answers the Mail

July 7th, 2011 Comments off

Ezra Jane Sparrow, reporting in after a long absence of travel, fun and enjoying life.

Hello There Friends,
I’d like to respond to some  correspondence that I have rec’d since that article came out about me in the local paper. Thanks to the editor for the kind words about my inheritance. I was afraid she’d make me sound like a golddigger but I swear that I had no idea that old gentleman would leave all that money to me just for being nice to him. The Lord works in mysterious ways, as the Good Book says.  I have always tried to be nice to folks, but that time it really paid off!

Dear Ms. Sparrow, I live in the town south of you and was surprised to know such a pretty, well-to-do lady lives so close. I thought we might meet up at the truck stop half way between us.  I hear they have real good chicken fried steak with gravy.  I’m enclosing a picture of me at the rodeo.  I am the shorter, older feller standing next to the big tall bull riding champ. How about  it?   Rayford

Dear Rayford, You lost me at ‘well to do’, but is the bull rider available?  Just kidding.  I know the truck stop you are talking about and it does have good food, but I’m afraid I will have to pass on your offer.  Sincerely, E.J. Sparrow

Dear Ezra Jane, My mother says that you take after your Aunt Sible Sparrow.  She says she never cared much for her , but that you sound nice.  Perline

Dear Perline, There is a strong resemblance among the Sparrows.  I must say that Aunt Sible does have her ornery ways about her, but then as they say , you can’t pick your relatives.   She is, however, good to her dog, Sparksalot.  E.J. Sparrow

Dear Ezra Jane,  Where did you get your name? It is very pretty. I am not too fond of mine.  Sincerely, Nelda Toehold

Dear Nelda, Thank you. My Daddy’s name was Ezra, guess you can figure out what my Mama’s name was.  Nelda’s not a bad name as names go. I can see where  Toehold might be a hard name to grow up with, being kids love to tease and all, but you can change your last name when you get married.  Now, if you’ve  gone and married into it, well hon, you should have thought about that on the first date.

Until next time, EJ Sparrow, reporter at large

October Newsletter: E.J. Sparrow

October 5th, 2010 Comments off

Hi Everybody,

I guess I say it every month, but I just can’t believe how fast this year has gone. Good grief as Charlie Brown would say, only two months till Christmas.  Mercy me!  We’ll be hearing jingle bells in the stores any day now!

We’ve had a busy beginning to Autumn.  I’ve hired  Billy and Boyd  Leewedder  to help me after school for a few days.  We  are raking and sacking  leaves as fast as we can and they just keep falling.

Don’t you hate for Halloween to land on Sunday?   It just doesn’t seem right somehow.  The city counsel is suggesting that the kids trick or treat on Saturday, the 30th.  There will be a Harvest Festival indoors at the community center and it would be a good safe place, if the parents want to skip trick or treating altogether. I think that is a very good idea.

Plans are underway for an orange covering to be draped over the top of the bridge coming into town, Christo like, just to add some fun for the weekend.  Peter Paul’s Pumpkin Patch is sponsoring it.  I just hope it doesn’t get blown away by high winds, that can pick up around here.

This year I’m going to my Aunt Nell’s to give out candy to the kids.  She is feeling poorly  but doesn’t want to disappoint the little folks that live around her.  In the past she has dressed up like a fairy princess and met them at the door with a song, a dance or a story.

Sometimes I think they’d rather  have the candy and move on, but I don’t say anything, considering she gets such a big kick out of it.  I sure hope she doesn’t expect me to do anything but give them candy and shoo them on to the next house.  I am not what you’d call an entertainer.

Well, I’ll hush.  Have a good October and I’ll be talking to you in November.

Yours Truly,

Ezra Jane Sparrow,  Reporter at Large

Ezra Jane’s August Greeting

August 1st, 2010 Comments off

August greetings friends, neighbors, and you I have yet to meet, but hope to some day,

Well, it has not cooled off one bit but I hate to complain too much knowing that in a few months I will be wishing for some of this heat to melt the ice. Guess it is always something when it comes to the weather.

I sure got some delicious watermelon, cantaloupe, and the best tomatoes ever, from Jim’s produce stand on Hwy 67.  I asked him if he had news for my newsletter, but he said no, just to tell you to drop by when you’re passing his way.

The Carter twins are planning a trip to the Holy Land in the fall.  Their Daddy is treating them for their fortieth birthday. He sure spoils those girls, but they are sweet as they can be, and they are his only children.  He had hoped for some grandchildren but I’m afraid that train has passed.

Good luck to Randy ‘Rooster’ Dowell, as he goes to try out for the community theatre’s production of Guys and Dolls.  I understand he has been taking singing lessons to get ready.  His mother said in confidence that she has heard him sing and as much as she loves her boy, she thinks he would be better suited for a speaking part. She said that his singing teacher, Miss Tillie, agrees with her.

I am happy to report that Luteen Joyce found her keys after a near panic attack when it appeared she would never get in her car or house again. She was so embarrassed, looking all over WalMart, even had the greeters helping her look.  Finally they were found. Seems Luteen was trying on shoes and her keys must have fallen into one of those fuzzy houseshoes. She didn’t hear ’cause, well, they were so soft and fuzzy, you know the ones.

Well, little Elton John Chadderton was playing with the houseshoes and out those keys fell.  Since the whole store was looking for them, his mama grabbed them up and took them to the front of the store.  Luteen was so happy she bought the little boy an ice cream cone and gave the mother the biggest hug ever.

That’s all the space I have.  Y’all be good now.  Ezra Jane

Ezra Jane’s July Report

July 1st, 2010 Comments off

Ezra Jane’s July Report:

Hello Friends and All of you that I do not know but would be happy to make your acquaintance one of these days:

Yes, I know, July is hot and well what can we say except it makes you want to avoid hell at all costs.  We are planning on some wonderful activities for the Fourth, if we don’t melt before then.

Please note the following:

The ladies jewelry group “Make it – Sell it” will have a display at the fairgrounds this year.  Junell Johhaessen says to tell you that there are some good buys this year, to be sure and stop by.

The men of the Every Monday Golfers gang will give instructions on how to putt.  They will  have a Gatorade stand with free drinks and advice on how to survive the heat on the golf course.  Sorry to say that Sander Smith will not be able to be there since he was overcome with heat on the 9th hole last Monday. Glad to hear he is doing better. (guess the boys oughta pass that good advice on to each other.) No offense boys, but half of you are overweight and the other half are just plain fat.  Maybe you spend just a little too much time at that 19th hole?  hmmmm?

Minerva Milkstone will be presenting an organ recital at 2:00.  No she doesn’t play, she just talks about all her aches and pains. . .  my kidneys, my heart, etc.   (Just a little humor there at Minerva’s expense.  I asked her first and she said sure.  Of course I’m not positive she knew what I was talking about at the time.  She’s a sweetheart.)

One last thing to all of you who plan to enjoy the 4th festivities be extra careful where you step.  There has been some cutbacks in the clean up department.  The rodeo contestants have our sympathy.  (If you get my drift.)

That’s it for now.  Take care of each other and we’ll see you again real soon.

Ezra Jane Sparrow, Reporter at Large

Ezra Jane’s May Report

May 25th, 2010 Comments off

Hello Friends,

Well, I hope I’m not getting senile but I plum forgot to write you folks this month.  I have been exceedingly busy and that is my excuse.  It may not be a good one but I’m stickin’ to it.

Things are hopping around my house since I started the remodeling.  I tell you, I’ve had to double up on my Clairol!

Now, the boys doing the job are just wonderful and I couldn’t be happier with them.  Ernestine recommended her brother Calvin and his sons, the Lodi Brothers.  So far they have been here on time and stayed late.  The problem I have is that they don’t seem to get as much done in a day’s time as I expect.  They are good, but slow, if you take to my meaning.

But like I say, Ernestine, I am not complaining, yet.

Don’t forget the dinner party at the Elks Lodge for Memorial Day.  Folks are encouraged to wear their uniforms from their military service, if they can still get into them.  Those of us who never served are to wear black arm bands in memory of those who went in our place.

Music will be provided by Earl, Roy, George and Eddie, the barbershop quartet from Marmaduke.  They will sing songs from different war eras.  I hear they are just delightful.

The weather is turning hot and it is about time.  We had more snow and rain this past winter than I can remember. A few months of hot, sticky, scorching, breath taking weather will run up the electric bill, but it will feel good for a change.  Of course we’ll be complaining pretty soon, guess we’re never satisfied.

That’s it for now.  Whenever Calvin and the Lodi Brothers get my house ready, which I hope is soon, I’ll have y’all over.

Yours Truly,

Ezra Jane Sparrow, reporter at large

EJ’s Monthly Newsletter

April 1st, 2010 Comments off

Hello friends, Ezra Jane Sparrow reporting:

Spring is in the air and its got most of us sneezing our heads off!  My goodness if I had a dollar for every antihistamine being taken around here, well I’d have a lot of dollars!

LeeAnn and Marlene, the Rando sisters, made their yearly trip to Poplar Bluff to get some new Easter clothes.  They said they got some good buys but wouldn’t show their outfits, said to see them in church.

It should be quite a show, I understand they usually get the big hats, gloves and shoes to match their frilly new dresses.   I suppose that is okay, considering it is a day to rejoice and be glad.  As long as folks are not looking at them more than at Pastor, who has a hard enough time keeping folks attention since they are all thinking about that big meal waiting for them.

I am enjoying setting out a new garden and just love this time of year.  Sure hope we don’t get surprised with a cold spell.  Jake came over and mowed my yard and cleaned up a ton of leaves.  I offered to help but he said not to think about it.  Actually I used to enjoy working in the yard, but when I had my last spell with my elbow, I said I’d just hire it done. Jake is a good kid and I know he can use the money.

On a serious note, you know that we will be having sunrise services at the church on the hill, we have a clear view of the horizon and at the glorious moment when the sun appears, we’ll be singing, “He Arose, He arose! Hallelujah Christ arose!”  It always gives me chill bumps, of course the air is cold, but these are chill bumps on top of those chill bumps.

God bless you folks and let me know if you have any thing to add to the newsletter,  Your reporter, EJ Sparrow.

February Greetings from EJS

February 8th, 2010 Comments off

Ezra Jane Sparrow and Neighborhood News:

img378Hello Friends,  I know I’m behind  getting this out, but January just flew by!  The ‘marm had to prompt me to get it together, which I have tried to do.  She is very patient, considering we are not kin and she doesn’t have to put up with me. Ha

First,  Aunt Emiline McCalister wants to thank all you gals who came by the house when she was doing poorly.  She is better now and says that you don’t have to come by so often, seein’ as how she has a lot of work to make up for and with so much visitation, as pleasant as it is, she can’t get a thing done.  Of course that does not mean the pastor and his wife, they are always welcome.

Miz Mabel Flowers, from down in the bottoms, has received word that her son, Sgt. Gene Lee Flowers , who has been in Iraq three times, will be coming home in a month.  Hopefully it will be the last time he will have to leave his wife and three darling children.  Good luck Gene Lee, we are proud of you!  I for one will have my flag on display for a week in your honor!

Jerrisue and Tamisue,  the Thompson sisters, will be  featured at Gertie’s Guitar Shop this coming Friday night. Gary Gertrude, owner, is expecting a big crowd as the sisters are very popular in the area.   I hear the younger sister resembles Taylor Swift, the other , not so much. Sign up for guitar lessons and attend free, or pay $10.00 at the door.

Lillian Vanderville, (of the Kentucky Vandervilles), sent word that she is still looking for someone to help around her house.  She will pay good money if the person follows instructions without complaining.  Word is that Miss Lillian is on the demanding side.  Now, Lord forgive me if that is gossip, which I rather think it might be, but since I’ve already typed it, I’ll let it stay.  No offense intended Miss Lillian, but most folks don’t take to being criticized nonstop.

Susie Pennet is heartbroken over the loss of her beagle.  If anyone sees a beagle on the loose please call Susie, it might be Tinker Bell.

That’s all for now, Ezra Jane Sparrow

If you have something to add to my March greeting, just let me know.  No charge.

A Few Words from E.J. Sparrow

January 1st, 2010 Comments off

Ezra Jane Sparrow:

On behalf of myself and the other fine folks at, I want to wish each and every one of you a wonderful new year.  As this is the beginning of a new decade, I will also take the opportunity of  wishing you the most wonderful decade you have had so far.

Now I can hear some of you, like Artie at the Pickle Plant, saying “It ain’t gonna be any different than the past, just work work work, dill, sweet, mixed relish, bread and butter.”

But I’ll say that its gonna be what we make it, Artie, you old pessimist!  To that I can hear Delmer adding his two bits and saying, “Its fur sure if we get it we’ll have to make it cause no one’s gonna hand it to us.” (a slam on my receiving a sizable monetary gift from the estate of dear old Mr. Winelund, may he rest in peace.) Delmer, give my regards to your mama, I hear her gout has been acting up lately.

What I mean, is that no matter what the situation is, it is how we handle it that either gets us through it with our hearts in the right place or leaves us bitter and hateful.  If I have learned anything since coming into my good fortune, it is that money is not the answer to happiness, contentment or peace of mind.

Yes, I know Ernestine , I can hear you spouting off that its easy for me to say since I don’t have to worry about bills any more and can go to Branson any time I have a mind to.  That is true and if you’d like to go with me the next time I go to see Andy Williams, just give me a call, but don’t talk behind my back as you are inclined to do.  No offense, Ernestine, but things do get back to me.

I can see I’m not getting too far with this since I keep imagining what you all are saying before I can get it out of my mouth.  So, I’ll just say this in closing:  every day we have is precious and so it is for the next fella.  No matter who or where folks live, they just have one life to live on this earth and one life is as valuable as the next.  Let’s pray for each other.  I’m gonna leave it at that and hope it makes some sense.

Yours Truly, Ezra Jane Sparrow, who was rich in spirit before she ever came into one red cent from dear old Mr. Winelund. God Bless you all in 2010!


E.J. Sparrow Reporting

December 27th, 2009 1 comment

An end of the year report by Ezra Jane Sparrow:

img378This year our ‘Give to Get Club’ had many charity events: you might remember our pancake breakfast for the dear folks out at the ‘Still Alive and Kicking Rest Home’.  It was a very big hit, thanks to Charlie Drister, the owner/operator of Fun by the Busload Tours.

For a very small fee Charlie instructed all his drivers to stop by the Church In the Way Fellowship Hall for the best pancakes in the South.  He said he’d had a few complaints that they hadn’t lived up to his big talk, but good old Charlie  just winked and said they were the best he’d ever had.

Our Guess Your Weight event was a fizzle:  We set up a booth outside of Wal-Mart and asked folks to step on the scales for a good cause.   Thanks to Imogene for the use of the scales from her Heart Healthy Bakery, located downtown on the square.

Anyway, we’d see if folks could guess their own weight and ask them to pay a quarter for every pound they were under or over. If they were exactly right, they would get a coupon for a free quart of Yarnell Ice Cream. Some were good sports but others, not so much.  Oh well, some ideas work and some don’t. We hope that Irene G.  will think up a better idea next time she is in charge, if she ever is in charge again, which is questionable. No offense intended, Irene.

We had better luck with our Halloween Haunted House . It was held in the upstairs of the old Jeter place, which has been boarded up for years.  We got permission to decorate it all spooky like and it was high-larry-us (I know how to spell it, but just prefer it this way) to see some of those folks jump and squeal at the special effects concocted by Ernie Dodge, who spent a summer in Branson and came home with all sorts of ideas, some of which we could actually use. Our thanks to Ernie.

Well, that’s enough to give you an idea of how the year went.  If you have an idea for the GTGC,  just give Bessie Truman a call and she’ll bring it up at our next meeting, which will be a potluck.  Please girls, don’t all of you bring jello salad this time.

Yours Truly, Ezra Jane Sparrow, Secretary


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