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Thad visits the drug store . . .

November 14th, 2013 Comments off

Thad and Tender

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There must be a mistake, Miss. This is not for the whole family, its just one person.

giggle, No sir, this is the way it comes.

I have to drink a gallon of this stuff before the colonoscopy?

Yes sir.  

Are you sure?  

Yes sir. My grandpa hated it, said it was just terrible running to the bathroom every few minutes. But I don’t really know myself.  The pharmacist will explain it to you in just a minute.  

ring . . . ring . . . ring . . . Please leave a message.”

Tender, this is Thad, in case you don’t recognize my voice after all these years.  Listen, I am going to be occupied for some time tomorrow evening and so is the bathroom.  I would appreciate it if you would please go to Claire’s and just leave me alone to do what I have to do.  I’m giving you fair warning.  

Thad?  I just got home.  What is this about wanting me to go to Clarie’s?

The pharmacist has given me a gallon of something to drink before that colon test.  From what he says, it won’t be pretty.  You know, honey, the more I think about it, I’m not so sure I need this thing.  I don’t have any problems in that region. Its just something they want you to get at a certain age.  Maybe I should wait on it a while.  What do you think?

Oh Thad! Get yourself home.   But first, stop by Peggy Reed’s place and pick up a dozen red roses.  

What?

Yes, I think I will have earned them before this is over, you big baby!

 

Thad Gets Poetic

January 22nd, 2013 1 comment

 

                                                                 Thad and Tender:

 

Why are you sniffing over there?  You catching a cold?

No Thad, sniff, I’m reading a poem by Jimmy Simpson.  It is about when he met his wife, Lottie.  Listen to these lines:

                 “For all at once you came along,

                   as if my life had just begun, 

                  With long hair flying in the wind;

                  And dark eyes flashing in the sun.”

Isn’t that sweet? Have you read it?   The poem called ‘You‘?  img614

Yeah, I did.  I was on his website the other night. Read a bunch of them.

Thad, come and sit by me.  Now tell the truth, what did it make you think?

You mean when I read his romantic poems to his wife?

Yes. What did it make you think?

Well, Tender Marie, it made me think that ole Jimmy makes the rest of us boys look pretty bad.  

Now Thad, I bet you could write a poem if you tried.  Why don’t you try, just for me?

 I’ll admit I have been working on one, just for you tonight.

Really? Say it for me.  Come on, it’ll be an early Valentine’s gift.

If you are sure,  here goes:

                 Roses are red, violets are blue,

                 I’m ready for bed, how about you?

Oh Thad!  laughing You’d better call Jimmy and get some pointers!  

I’m not a poet like he is, that’s for sure, but how about if I  say, I still love you as much as the day I first laid eyes on you, and tripped over my own feet staring at the prettiest thing I’d ever seen?

Ahh, that’ll do nicely.   I love you Thad.

I know you do.

Thad!

 

(To read the rest of the poem go to jimmylsimpson.com )

Thad and Tender

March 9th, 2012 Comments off

Thad, when you go to Wal-Mart today will you bring me back something?

What do you want Tender?

I want  20 years back – they’ve gone too fast!

Well dear, I don’t think ole Sam figured that one out or he’d still be around, greeting folks at the door. 

Oh well, then bring me a box of chocolate covered cherries!

Atta girl!

Thad and Tender

February 16th, 2012 Comments off

Tender rushes into the room and prances around like a ‘super model’.

Thad looks up and comments,”New jeans?”

“No! That’s what is so wonderful!  They are old!”

“I’ll never understand you Tender.”

“Thad, I haven’t been able to wear these jeans in a year and now I can. I was afraid I would never shed those pounds!  Losing weight is HARD!

“You’ve done good, honey,” he says, continuing to read the newspaper.

“People like you don’t have a clue what it is like Thad.  It makes me mad sometimes just thinking about it.  You can eat anything you want and still stay nice and trim.  I have to watch every bite.  It isn’t fair!”

“Would it make you happier if I had the problem too Tender?”

“No, of course not.  It goes back to when I was a kid.  I was the only one of us girls who was always fighting with a few extra pounds.  The rest of them were thin as reeds.  I got teased at home and at school too. I tried to laugh it off, but it hurt! Maybe now I can lose some more. Seems like I’ve found a way that helps.”

“Have I ever complained about your weight Tender?”

“No dear, and I love you for it, but the doctor says I need to lose at least ten more pounds and I’m going to. So, get your walking shoes on,  you need to keep moving too.”

“Come here a minute, Tender.” He holds her close and kisses her on the forehead. “Do I really have to go?”

“YES!”

laughter, “Okay, okay, just checking!”

 

Thad and Tender

January 20th, 2012 Comments off

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Thad I got some new pictures of the baby.

Has he changed much since an hour ago?

Oh stop it!  Look, isn’t he the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?

Yeah, he’s a keeper.

Thad, I wish we had a house big enough for all of us to live together, remember on Dallas, how they all lived together on that big Texas ranch?

Yeah, and we’d be killing each other too if we tried that, just like old J.R. !

Oh hush. I could be Miss Ellie, all nice and refined, like Barbara bel Geddes.  Didn’t you just love her, Thad?

She was alright, but that genie girl . . . now that  was a Barbara I could go for.

Barbara Eden? Well, that was a different show altogether.

Yeah, but  didn’t you just love her, Tender?  Now, she could move in with us any day!

Why you dirty old man, get your hands off of me, you’ll break this recliner!  Barbara Eden, my Aunt Fanny!

 

A New Year With Thad and Tender

January 11th, 2012 Comments off

Thad and Tender

Can you believe it Thad? It is 2012!  The years are going by just too fast. When I was a kid Christmas took forever, but now it comes back before we know it!  I don’t like the years going so fast, do you?

No.  No, I don’t.

Well, it’s over for this year.  It was wonderful being with the kids and seeing them getting along so well.  Have you noticed? They were really sweet to each other.  Of course they should be by now, both married and settled down.  If they haven’t learned to appreciate each other by now they never will.  Right?

Right.

What will they do when we’re gone, Thad?

Are we going some place, Tender?

You know what I mean.  Will they stay close or will they fuss and fight and break apart like so many do? I can’t stand the thought.

Then don’t think about it.

Well I do!  The kids are so different, their spouses are different, they like different things, they don’t have much in common except us.  If we aren’t around, why will they even bother to get together? I don’t understand why you don’t worry more about that Thad, I know you care as much as I do.

Tender, why in the world do you think our worrying will help anything?  Don’t you have more faith in our kids than that?

silence-

Maybe I think we’re more important than we are to them.  Maybe they’ll do just fine without us.  Maybe they’ll be even closer when we’re gone.

That’s my girl.  Now, don’t you feel better?

Better?  They aren’t even going to miss us!

laughter – Well, old girl, if it helps any, I would miss you will all my heart.

kiss on the cheek – I love you Thad.

I know!

THAD! 

Thad and Tender

November 1st, 2011 1 comment

Why don’t we dance more often Thad?

‘Cause you can’t talk me into it?

 You used to love to dance.  Remember our prom?

Tender that was 50 years ago.  

I know, but I’m disappointed that we never go dancing. 

Where could we go dancing in this town?  You know the church frowns on it.

Oh, for Heavens sake!  We’re married with grandchildren.

I know dear, but still.

Thad.   I’m  old.

Yes, and I’m old too. Want to sit down?

No, and please don’t say you are old.

Why, you just did.

Oh, I know I am, but I don’t like to think of you as being old!  Just mature.

(Thad laughs) Yeah, I’m mature alright!  

Do you think of me as old, Thad, tell the truth?

Tender, why do you ask me such things?

I guess I want you to say that you don’t think of me as old, but as young.

Well then I’d be lying.  Do you want me to lie to you?

I don’t like being old in your eyes Thad. 

 (Thad stops dancing and looks at her) Tender Marie, I think of you just as you are and that is just perfect for me.

Perfect, Thad?

Pretty near!

You’re not just saying that because I was hinting for it?

No dear.  I mean it.   Now honey, CSI is coming on in a few minutes.  Do I need to prove my love for you by dancing or can I sit in my recliner and watch crime unfold?

(Tender pushes him away and then pulls him to her for a kiss on the cheek.) “How about some ice cream with your crime?”

Atta girl!

 

A New Song

January 8th, 2011 2 comments

Thad and Tender:

Tender, want to hear the song I’ve been working on for days?

Of course, let me hear it.

.bark…..woof ..howll…..

You too, Big Boy!

Tender, this came from hearing Papa tell about being  a lonely young man before he found Momma,  yearning for someone to love , and how he’d go out in the woods and talk to Mother Nature. I wrote it for them.

Thad Picks up his classic Fender guitar:  strums softly in the key of g

Walking through life with sorrow and sadness,

walking through  life filled with heartache and pain.

Looking for a place of rest in the morning,

Looking for the girl who’ll carry  my name.

Where is she now, how can I find her?

oh wind in the willows, please carry my love

oh sky full of darkness, shake the heavens with your thunder.

oh clouds filled with raindrops smile down from above.

Oh where is she now, how can I find her?

Who is the one my heart longs for as true?

Give me hope, green grass beneath me,

Lead me to her . . . rippling brook, please do.

Where is she now, how can I find her?

Lead me to her, oh mountains, please do.

Ah Thad, that’s real pretty.

It needs some work but with Don on  fiddle and Matt on the guitar, I think we’ll get it!

The mandolin would sound nice in there too, Thad.

Yeah, it would.  I’ll see if Mark or Jim will play.    Well, what do you think , would Papa  approve?

I think he’d  love it  . . .  and your Momma  too.

smooch, kiss, hug

Hey, young lady, are you what they call a ‘groupie’?

No, I’m called a ‘wifie’ and don’t you forget it!

Thad and Tender

August 4th, 2010 Comments off

Thad, I enjoyed the boys coming over tonight. You all are getting better all the time.

Well, I don’t think Rascal Flatts should worry about being replaced, but it sounded pretty good to me too.

Do you want some more lemonade?

No, let’s just sit and swing a minute.   I’m really tired, ready to crawl into that bed.

Thad, do you ever think about dying?

I don’t plan to right away.

You know what I mean, do you worry about it?

I suppose as much as the next guy, why do you ask, am I looking sickly?

No, I was just wondering.

Well. . .

Well what?

Aren’t you going to ask me if I think about death?

No, because I already know the answer.  You’ve been talking about it a lot lately.

Have I? Guess it’s because of all the bad news I hear.  I don’t want to lose you Thad.

Me?  What makes you think you’ll lose me?  I thought you were worried about yourself.

No, not so much.  I worry more about you.

Well, I’m dead tired but I’m not dead yet, I’m going to bed Tender.

Thad I don’t think you take me seriously .

Oh now Tender, come on, I’ll help you up.  How about a little dance right here on the porch? I was dancing with my    darlin’  . . .

Stop it, stop it! Thad, someone will see us! I thought you were tired.

I am tired, but I like I told you  . . . I’m not dead yet!

Keeping Track

July 1st, 2010 Comments off

Gertie, how about going to church with me next week?  You haven’t been in a while, have you?

No, Sonia and I’ll tell you why.  Did you see Pearlie Mae’s son up there singing in the choir as big as anyone?

I did.  He has a good voice.  Why did that bother you?

Well, I haven’t forgot when he broke in to that coke machine and took all the change.  He’s a crook, standing up there so pious.  Made me so mad.  I couldn’t hear a word the preacher said, just looking at him.

Gertie!  That was 20 years ago when he was just a kid!  He settled down and hasn’t got into trouble since.  How in the world can you hold that against him?

Humphf, everybody else may  forget it, but not me!  Somebody’s got to keep track of these things.

Oh Gertie!  No,  no, no!

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